I was sitting and reading, while my son then 9, played at the local park. When a mother came up and sat down very hard beside of me. “How can you be all calm over here when you got kids playing? Ain’t you afraid they will get hurt or do something they shouldn’t? Or are you one of them parents that just let your kids do whatever they want?”
I cannot lie I was pissed off at how crass and confrontational she was. She didn’t know me. She didn’t know my son. Nor did she know what kind of parent I was. Yet here she sat judging a complete stranger.
Now to those who know me well know it takes a Hell of a lot to make me angry. Normally I let people’s opinions not stick to me, I let it slide off, like water off a duck’s back. But you bring my child into anything, especially when you don’t know who we are…well let’s just say it doesn’t roll off nearly as well.
I see all kinds of different parenting. And unless you are
Abusing your children, I don’t care how you parent them. (Now I’m talking physically, mentally or sexually abusing your kid. Not this new day bullshit that parents who allow their kids to have some time to explore, to play without it being structured, to be more than a foot away from them get in trouble for, thanks to parents who do not approve, calling the authorities.) Claiming the parents are being negligent, abusive or uncaring for allowing their children to have freedom of self confidence, independent thinking and learning.
What I am saying is, it doesn’t matter what way other parents raise their children. Even when they are vastly different than the way you do. Not one parent is a perfect parent. Yet there always seems to be someone that thinks they are better than any other parent.
I know I sure as hell am not even close to being perfect. Some days I’ll admit on being the less than crappy parent. Sometimes I am an amazing parent. But never am I the perfect parent and never will be. And I don’t try to be. I give my son my very best…and some days the best is well below par if I am being honest.
My parental goal always is simple… To be a loving, happy and the best parent I can be, that day. Sometimes I have to break it down to the hour while dealing with health issues…but my son knows I love him unconditionally and will always.
Social media and media in general have amped those differences in moms. And we have allowed them too! I have zero animosity against you if you bottle feed your babies. I have nothing against you if you breast feed your babies. Know why? Because both of these methods feed your children! Co sleep, cry it out, vax/no vax, as long as you love your children and raise them into compassionate caring children and adults that is what matters! These differences do not make anyone wrong, it just means we parent differently. We need to lift each other up. Not just us moms, but parent’s in general . We moms need to encourage these amazing dads too. There are so many of them that take just as good care of their children as moms do. So when dads are spending time with their kids why do people assume the care is less than stellar? I know many amazing dads, my husband is one of them. And yet stereotypes have run rampant that moms are much better parents than their male counterparts.
The biggest thing we all need to learn is simple… Agree to disagree on certain things, but stop believing your way is the only way. Life is too short to waste it arguing and being unkind and judgmental. If only we would come together for the greater good… Teaching and being good examples for our children.
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