My husband and I stopped by the grocery Tuesday. We were walking through the store, getting what we needed. As
we came around a end cap of the aisle we both physically and emotionally stumbled. Walking up the aisle, carrying a tiny stuffed animal was this absolutely adorable little boy. He was giggling, in that perfectly infectious laughter that only children have. The kind of laughter than when you hear it, no matter what child it comes from, it makes your very soul smile.
We both at the same time sighed huge sighs. Then looked at each other. Yet we didn’t say anything. We both knew that we shared the very same thought. So there were no need for words.
We miss our son being that age and we both have wished the same wish we have had since our son was little. That we could have another just like him. But despite our tries we cannot.
As parents nothing, but our children, can elicit such emotions. The fear, the absolute joy and happiness, the sadness. They bring us pure love, exhaustion, frustrations, beautifully laced chaos and happiness.
Our son, our miracle child is 12 and growing like a weed. In fact this morning as he wrapped his arms around me, as he always does in our morning hug. I looked at him and realized in the last week he has actually grown the last few inches to officially be as tall as his mama.
They grow up so very fast.
And as we stood there smiling at this adorable little boy and his mother, our hearts and souls ached. Because we will never again get to experience a child of our own being at this beautiful stage of childhood. Knowing that as much as we wish, as hard as we have tried, and we will never get to have anymore children.
My heart ached.