Seems like most days, as we take a stroll through this webscape that is Facebook, we encounter more anger, hate and judgment, than any of us have reason or right to put out at each other. I am not saying everyone is doing this, but way too many are. And it makes motherhood so much harder than it needs to be.
Here’s the thing…. I don’t care about how other people raise their children. Unless they are abusing them or putting them in harm’s way. We were all raised differently by our mothers, yet we all survived and raise our children based on how we were raised.
We all have the most amazing gifts and blessings in the world, our children (yes even when our sweet littles have a Linda Blair moment in the store). We have all had that moment when everything in our daily life is going ass backward. And if I can be completely honest, those times seem to ALWAYS be the exact same time the kids turn into mini terrorists. Think how truly awesome it would feel if one mom saw another mom having one of those “oh my god how in the hell did I get here” kind of moments, we reached out with an encouraging word or even just a smile of understanding.
Sadly If you were like me when I was a 20 something girl in Target or Walmart, Watching some poor mom trying her best to not break down and cry herself. As somehow her children went from awww so sweet to What the actual feck happened? Demon possession?
And all you could think was “if that was my child I would…”. Well guess what…someday you are going to be in that mom’s shoes hoping no one is looking as your sweet, oh so perfect child is losing their shit. Usually these defcon 5 melt down will be over things like you not letting them have a toy or because you wouldn’t let them have all the things. Sometimes we moms just need to hear from another mom that she is doing great at motherhood and that parenting is hard. (anyone else telling you it is ease is lying through their teeth or they have a nanny 24/7, 365 days a year). I used to be a probation officer… That job was child’s play compared to being a mom.
It seems like every time a controversial topic comes up, the web explodes with all the well meaning parent’s opinions of how other people are not being good parents. And that, always has the same reaction one would get poking a bear cub while the mama bear is near. It escalates quickly and the discussion turns to a debate that turns into insults and massive pissing contests.
Let’s face it, nothing good is accomplished by these exchanges. It doesn’t change the opinions or beliefs of the ones you are going all keyboard mafia on. Because let’s face it you react the same way when they put down your parenting method or/and your kids behaviors. All this nonsense is useless.
This is how I feel about these nearly “taboo” subjects. If you can breast feed your little, that is awesome. I cried for weeks when I couldn’t breast fees my son more than a few weeks. If you formula feed your kid, that too is great. Both feed and nourish our children. Vax or not to Vax…do what you feel is right. They are your children. Co sleep or cry it out, cloth or disposable diapers, work or sahm, helicopter or free range… Use your gut instincts, they will not lead you wrong.
My point is….RAISE YOUR CHILDREN THE WAY YOU THINK IS BEST and stop trying to prove who is right and who is wrong. As parents and fellow humans we should build each other up and stop tearing others down.
Can you imagine how much different life would be if we all tried to encourage and support? It would go so far not just for us adults, but our children would learn valuable skills and communication techniques.
Just think a school full of kids that have been shown how to deal with frustrations and anger in a positive way. The world would be such a lovely place. That is why I choose parenting peacefully. I am not perfect by far, and I don’t claim to be… there is no such thing as a perfect parent. So stop thinking any one of us is better than anyone else. And let’s do as our ancestors did and realize that the more wisdom we gain from each other can benefit not just our children. It can and will make us better mothers. Because sometimes it really does take a village to raise a child.
Oh the joys of parenthood (Facebook)